Life Hits You By Surprise

Here I am waiting in the hospital for a dear friend of mine to have a procedure done. I can't go into detail but they have been recently diagnosed with cancer. You never realize what someone means to you until you hear the potentially fatal diagnosis they receive. This time, hopefully they are lucky, they caught it early (they hope) and hopefully it can be locally treated and or removed. This is still really rough.

Hope is a funny word. Hope and me have a love hate relationship. So many times in my life, I have been let down after hoping that a particular time would be different. Then again hope has inspired me to push through and move forward in my life, in many different areas. Hope is the giver and the taker. It is never just one way. There is a rise and fall and sometimes that fall hurts like hell and sometimes the triumphs are small and unnoticeable.

As I sit here waiting for my friend's procedure to be done, knowing in two weeks we will be back here to start treatment, makes me think of all the things I have taken for granted in my life. Life has its struggles, we all have been there. Feelings of despair, feelings of hopelessness, or even feelings of fear because of the unknown future. That future, being anxiety ridden and burdened can be difficult but it can also be beautiful. When we think about our lives significantly changing, we think about the fear of the unknown. No matter how much you prepare for things in your life, you never have full control of situations, at least not 100%, maybe close sometimes but not 100%!!! Because of the unknown, depression can settle in, anxieties and despair. There is no light at the end of the tunnel or at least we can't see one. This is when we must fight harder!!

I guess you can say I am putting my fear into words, here, like always, using this platform as a journal to just get things off my chest and having hope that maybe it will resonate with someone and what they are going through, no matter when they read it. I do this blog for selfish and selfless reasons but in the end it doesn't matter why, it matters that I do it! I have learned this! If things are going good in my life I typically won't post a blog entry; perhaps I need to change that because in the trials I share with you all which helps me choose joy. When I am not struggling I still have joy but I don't think of sharing that. I assume you would like to hear the good and the bad so I will try harder to share the victories and not just the struggles in my life. I encourage you to do the same! Start speaking hope into your life. You will be amazed how things change!

I have been thinking about writing a book lately, about what, I am not sure but I am definitely being drawn to do so and have had several people tell me I should. I have started two different fictional stories before but perhaps they were not the right fit, perhaps it's time to put my writing skills to more of a test and share with you my thoughts and experiences in a different way.

For now, the here and right now, as my friend stands at the door of uncertainty; it has made me realize life is too short. There are so many things I want to do, things I need to resolve or desires to accomplish

. Today I am reminded we all are here only for a short period. Make sure you live it to the fullest !!! <3<3<3